15 Jun 2018

Race 3: An Incredibly Dumb, Partly "So Bad That it is Good" Bhai Movie!

I can't wait to begin, and I don't know where to end. I could write pages and pages today about Race 3. Few movies can be so bad and for the same reason be so good.

The first hour of Race 3 is right down hilarious. Clearly, the director didn't mean it to be so. If the rest of the film had been as consistently lame and yet foolishly entertaining, it would have been so much fun. The filmmakers do try to set new levels of incompetence in the second half. But finally, Race 3 is just plain bad.

Story? What Story? 
Salman Khan aka "Bhai", Anil Kapoor, Jacqueline Fernandez, Bobby Deol, Daisy Shah and Saqib Saleem get together and never get going. The dialogues are childish and incredibly dumb. The action promises much and then just dies down as "Bhai & Friends" take over.

The Race 3 Select LOL Moments 
Bhai sticks out a Swiss knife and shaves off his goatee and moustache mid-song! Jacqueline is clearly impressed. That's my man! Yeah, stop using razor blades today! Wait for a second! Don't! If Bhai can you can't too! Because only Bhai can!

Police? Law and order? Who are they? 

Selfish, Bhai's first attempt at songwriting, or more of a clout disguised as a song is entertainingly bad. 

The Cambodian army can't find a gun to shoot Bhai. Leave the gun-finding to Bhai! And the killing too!

The women are featured in all kinds of undress. Billionaires party and party, because there is nothing else to do.  

The body count in the opening scenes, over 90 armed men shot between Salman, Daisy, and Saqib! Nobody can get one bullet anywhere near the trio though! 

Nobody gets Bhai. Bhai gets everybody. 
Everybody falls through shattered glass in fight scenes! Somebody wanted a lot of glass destroyed! Probably it was the action director's anger management method. "I am angry! Bring more glass!"   

Rajesh Sharma calls up Anil Kapoor in a Bihari accent and suddenly everyone is speaking madcap Bhojpuri. When did that happen and why? The best of the unintentionally hilarious moments are in Bhojpuri. Every time the accent came on, I was like, "Please go Bhojpuri on me! Please! One more time!"

Out of the world dialogues. Salman Khan's character is called Sikander, so one of chaps go, "I am sick of this Sikku, Dad!" How about,"See you later, alligator." There is more, much, much more of priceless alien dialogue-baazi!  

Two guys lose their shirts and then fight in slow-mo. Because it's too hot in the desert, silly! And we got plenty of time and it's a three-hour movie! Chill!   

By the way, Bhai is driving a vehicle in the movie. Just saying.  

Who has the last laugh?
The film's producers will clearly make money despite the absolute topless juvenility. At almost three hours, Race 3 is a punishment you just can't ignore. Ironically, Salman Khan had intelligently mentioned in an interview, how a demi-god hero can end up becoming his own caricature. You can clearly see the caricature Salman Khan has become in Race 3.

The Scary End 
They are planning Race 4! Help! Cinema lovers, notice the shiver down your sensible spine. Bhai lovers! You can't miss what you didn't notice!

Race 3 is for the brave, foolhardy, loyal Salman Khan fan. Bhai fans, I salute you! Go buy your blue stone bracelet and get through this one! Race 3 is your "Are you a true Bhai fan?" test.

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